For Parents and Caregivers
Transitions are part of everyday life: waking up, getting ready, switching activities, leaving the house, ending play, starting bedtime. These moments happen many times a day, yet for many children, transitions can feel intense, overwhelming, or emotionally big.
And that makes sense.
A transition requires a child to shift attention, adjust emotionally, understand expectations, and regulate their internal experience all at once. That’s a lot of cognitive, emotional, and sensory work, especially for a developing nervous system.
As a therapist who works closely with neurodivergent children and their families, I see every day how transitions can stir up big feelings, not because children are being “difficult,” but because their brains and bodies are doing their best to adapt to change in the moment. I also see how much love, patience, and care parents bring as they support their children through these moments.
This isn’t about fixing a child.
It’s about understanding them, supporting their nervous system, and reducing stress around change so the whole family feels more connected and grounded.
Why Some Children Find Transitions Especially Challenging
Different children experience change differently and all of those experiences are valid.
Transitions can be difficult because they may involve:
Sensory Shifts
Moving from one environment to another, or from high stimulation to low stimulation (or vice versa), can feel physically overwhelming. For children who are sensory sensitive or sensory seeking, transitions can feel abrupt and dysregulating.
Deep Focus or Hyperfocus
Many neurodivergent children engage in activities with deep concentration and emotional investment.
Stopping something that feels regulating, meaningful, or joyful can feel like a sudden emotional “cut off.”
Uncertainty and Lack of Predictability
Not knowing what comes next can feel uncomfortable or unsafe. Predictability offers grounding; transitions require re-orientation.
Emotional Processing
Transitions often bring layered emotions, excitement, frustration, disappointment, worry.
Children are still learning how to recognize, express, and move through these feelings.
None of this is misbehaviour.
None of this is manipulation.
None of this is a lack of effort or respect.
It’s a nervous system response.
What Transition Struggles Might Look Like
Children communicate through behaviour. During transitions, a child may:
- Ask for more time
- Repeat questions about what’s happening next
- Avoid or walk away
- Cry, yell, or shut down
- Move their body more or less (freeze, fidget, hide, cling)
All of these responses are communication and all of them make sense in context.
When we shift our thinking from “won’t transition” to “is having a hard time transitioning,” we naturally respond with empathy and support instead of frustration.
How Parents Can Support Transitions in a Neuroaffirming Way
The goal isn’t to make transitions perfect or emotion free.
The goal is to make transitions feel safer, more predictable, and more supported.
1. Collaborate Instead of Command
Instead of:
“It’s time. Stop and go now.”
Try:
“We’re going to switch activities soon. Let’s figure out what you need to feel ready.”
Collaboration supports connection and shared regulation.
2. Use Predictability and Gentle Previews
Warm, neutral countdowns help the nervous system prepare::
“Five minutes, then we’ll change activities. I’ll remind you again in two minutes.”
Visual timers, sand timers, or visual schedules can also support this process. Research and child development guidance consistently show that predictability reduces stress and challenging behaviours during transitions.
3. Support the Nervous System During the Shift
A transition bridge is a small, regulating moment between activities.
Examples include:
- A deep-pressure hug
- A chewable or fidget
- A sip of water
- A brief stretch or movement break
- Carrying a favorite object from one activity to the next
These small supports send a powerful message: You are safe during change.
4. Celebrate Their Way of Processing – Don’t Silence It
If your child needs to:
- Ask clarifying questions
- Talk things through
- Repeat routines
- Move their body
These are regulation tools, not behaviors to stop.
5. Offer Choices That Support Autonomy
Choice helps transitions feel shared rather than imposed:
- “Do you want to finish now or in two minutes?”
- “Should we walk, hop, or roll to the car?”
- “Do you want me close, or would you like some space while you switch?”
Choice communicates:
Your experience matters. Your body is your own. I’m here with you.
6. Acknowledge Feelings Without Trying to Fix Them
Validation soothes the nervous system:
“You really loved what you were doing. It makes sense that stopping is hard.”
“Your feelings are real. I’m right here with you.”
Children move forward more easily when they feel understood.
Evidence-Based Resources for Supporting Transitions
If you’d like additional guidance and research-informed strategies, these resources align closely with a compassionate, developmentally appropriate approach to transitions:
- Child Mind Institute – Practical strategies for helping children transition with emotional support and predictability:
https://childmind.org/article/how-can-we-help-kids-with-transitions/ - NAEYC (National Association for the Education of Young Children) – Insight into how structured, predictable transitions reduce stress and challenging behaviours:
https://www.naeyc.org/resources/pubs/yc/sep2018/reducing-challenging-behaviors-during-transitions - Institute of Child Psychology – A sensory-informed perspective on daily transitions like school mornings and bedtimes:
https://instituteofchildpsychology.com/backpacks-bedtimes-and-big-feelings-a-sensory-informed-guide-to-school-transitions/
A Note to Parents: You’re Doing Your Best
Transitions don’t only affect children, they affect parents too.
There can be layers of:
- fatigue
- worry
- running late
- pressure to get things done
- fear of a meltdown
If transitions feel stressful in your home, you are not alone.
I see you trying.
I see the love underneath the effort.
And your child feels it, even when their feelings are big.
Supporting transitions isn’t about perfection.
It’s about connection and co-regulation.
